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Having rented a couple of 'blockbuster' action movies recently, one thing that strikes me is a terrible trend for plot devices to demand dumb characters. Now I know these movies are not Shakespeare, they are popular action fare, but too many seem to have 'engineered' plot lines. By this I mean that the scriptwriter has determined that certain plot devices must happen to further the story (and get us to the next chase/explosion etc). But, all semblance of common sense by the characters has to be dropped to make them happen. Thus you have dumb characters following a complex plot.

For example two recent movies (Warning: SPOILER alert)

Wolverine: X-Men Origins.

Our hero, working at the lumber mill realises his evil brother is about to kill his loved one. He runs to find her. Cut to empty 4x4 on road, he runs into the forest to find his girl covered in blood and with no pulse. Ok we then get the classic Simpsons 'Mendoza!' moment as he holds her in his arms, raises his head to the sky and screams. All well and good. But later we find out shes one of the bad guys and was alive all the time; merely drugged to appear dead. Big plot point. But it requires the hero to have done what after finding here 'dead' in the forest? Leave her there? I suspect not. He would at the very least of taken her back to the car. Even if he then ran off after his brother, I dare say he'd find time to ensure her body was dealt with? No, seems he screams, shrugs his shoulders and runs off leaving her to be revived.

Rocknrolla:

One big set of plot devices. Girly accountant steals 7m euro from russian boss. So what does she do? Steals another 7m in exactly the same way. Big London boss gets home to find loaned painting from the russian boss has been stolen. Calls in the boys and states 'bring me a body'. Erm, how about asking 'how did the burglars get in'? That may have indicated that it was someone with the key and that trawling London's underworld was not needed? Sheesh.




The advance of music technology continues apace. In the start of a semi-regular series, heres a low down of whats making noises on the FT computer.

Max for Live

Just installed this update, but in the limited play time I have had with it so far, it looks very powerful. Time will tell if I can be bothered to make my own devices, but hopefully there will be a steady stream of user devices to use.

Sub-boom Bass

This has rapidly become my only choice for bass elements on a track. Such a wide number of presets and styles means there's always something that fits.

Gladiator

This powerful synth shines particularly for its expansions. While my tracks probably dont count as 'dance' music, these sound packs have hundreds of usable presets.

Fabfilter Timeless2

Now my go-to delay effect.

Last week Microsoft and Sky decided to launch a new subscription TV service for the Xbox360. The result of this scheme beggars belief. Its hard to think in any way they could have performed worse over the past week. While Microsoft may take some blame, the overwhelming bulk of the fiasco must lie at Skys doors.

Firstly, this service was no rush job. It had been announced as 'coming' for several months. So on the release day of last Tuesday I tried to sign up. PR had appeared in the web news sites and the XBox web site featured large PR pages. However, if you tried to follow the link to sign up with Sky, the Sky web site just reported a 404. Not a good start.

So by mid afternoon they got that sorted. I entered my new account details etc only to be informed that my credit card could not be bound to my email address as it already had a payment setup on it. Hard to see how as this is the first time I have ever tried to buy anything from Sky. In the end I gave up and created a new email address to keep it happy. So I paid my money.

On powering up my Xbox in the evening I am shocked to find no Sky service what so ever. No news. No status. No download. After searching for a while I search on my PC and find many news reports of the service being withdrawn due to technical problems.

A few days pass and then a status update appears on Xbox. This poorly worded messge half implies that its the users fault that the service failed due to 'overhwelming demand'. Well excuse me. Any search of the Sky website just shows the same bland message and for further details....takes you to the PR page rubbing in how great the service is that you cant have.

Days pass. Posts on the XBox forums seem to indicate that nobody is getting access. I tried phoing Sky to cancel my subscription. After the normal run around and 15mins on hold the poor woman admits she cannot cancel my sub as the 'service is up and running'.

So I try emailing Sky. I get a terse refusal to cancel my sub.

Now over a week later more messages indicate that are only enabling use of the service my a drip feed very day. Some people are getting it. I am not. I continue to have no idea how much longer it will take. Also bad is reports from people who do have the service that, shock, its very poor. Stuttering channels, low frame rates, restricted content etc etc.

So heres a hint to Sky; If you have a limited resource to sell, how about limiting the sales? Rather than seeing how many you can sell, then se how many you provide with what they bought.

One aspect of WoW that continues to irritate is the question of character names. Blizzard got it right by excluding numbers and symbols, but there really needs to be a 'are you sure?' set of prompts and large neon signs when new players first create a character. So here's FT's 10 biggest bags of name fails:

1) Using your real name.

Its asking for you to name your *character* not what your name is!

2) The 'I cant remember more than two things' syndrome.

aka the class and race combo. Prior to picking a name the player has entered two things; their race and class. So with a stunning lack of imagination people try a race name combo; Gnomemage, HumanWarlock etc etc

3) Someone else also cant remember more than two things.

.... but all the class/race combos are already gone. So you just spell them badly. e.g. Gnommage, HumanWarluck etc

4) I use hair gel you know.

Any Paladin character with the word 'din' in it.

5) I'm evil you know

Any deathknight with the word death in it.

6) I'm pretty dumb

'Icantthinkofon' is not only dumb but he/she didnt even notice the missing trailing 'e'.

7) Its not what you think it says

aka the forum smart ass who states 'Therapist' is named as he's a health therapist and not that it says 'The rapist'. Also commonly used to try and excuse drug terms. 'my dog is called laddy smells dirty, its not LSD'.

8) Street cred

Any name with 'boy' in it.

9) I come from Europe you know

Aăåãâáàẳẵ

10) FT

What sort of a name is that! :)

For most of my childhood and adult life I have suffered from the mental illness of Depression. One of the biggest problems with this illness is the difficulty in explaining it to people. Most people will refer to 'being a bit depressed' from time to time. They will assume this is what Depression is. Being 'a bit depressed' can almost always be linked to a stimulus. Thus when you tell people you suffer from Depression, they ask 'what are you depressed about?'. Its very difficult to explain that with clinical Depression (vs the act of being depressed) there is often is no direct external cause.

But recently I have come up with an analogy which I think works pretty well:

If you consider how well modern Hollywood movies manipulate emotion via music. Over the history of Cinema, they have refined the musical cues to cover a large range of human emotion. One of these cues can be characterised by use of a 'haunting' melody (usually played on piano) backed up with a small string section playing legato phrases. Visually this will usually be coupled with long tracking shots of the subject moving through the world. In essence the music portrays a string of emotions; Loneliness, detachment, melancholy, sadness etc etc. Now, consider living your life with that musical cue permanently playing in the 'background' of your life. Twenty four hours a day, seven days a week, fifty two weeks a year. You can laugh. You can shout. There are lots of things that can temporarily drown out the music, but in the end must return to yourself and quiet. You can take drugs (aka Anti-depressants). These can 'muffle' the music, make it less distinct. You can 'self-medicate' with alcohol, but everything is just a short respite. Depression is like getting the 'mood' of the music without it having to be there. Everything, be it happy, sad, funny, shocking, or mundane is underpinned by the relentless pressure towards a negative mood.

Its a complex subject. Just check the length of the Wikipedia entry: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Major_depression.